Into the Grey
by NicMeadows
Summary: In a time when blood and social status seem to mean everything in the wizarding world, can Wilhelmina create happiness for herself by turning away from it all? Has the wizarding world split into good and bad, or is there a grey area... Marauder era
1. Chapter 1

**Into The Grey**

Hello there, decided to post this story as an on going thing though I must warn you that I won't be able to post all the time. University seems to take up too much time to be writing stories! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this first chapter. I'm not totally sure where it's heading at the moment but I'm sure it will take shape as I get your comments and ponder it a little more in this brain of mine. Thanks for reading, nic x x x

**Wilhelmina** opened her eyes to the blinding sunshine of June. The grass was soft, the air was sweet and her mind was set. She stood up from the ground and looked about her, searching for his face, desperate to see the one person she was looking for. Her eyes finally fell on him, lolling idly against a tree and laughing gracefully at a friends joke. She took in his appearance. He seemed to be the epitome of calm, there was no excitement in his glance, no uncontrolled movement of his body and certainly no life in his idle smirk. She smiled to herself, this was what she should have done all along. With that she strolled steadily towards him. Her heart, though her easy and smooth manner of walking did not betray it, was beating faster than she could ever recall it beating before. She could feel her skin heating with nerves and her breath becoming quick. This was a moment which would change her life forever but her decision had been made.

"Lucius?"

"Yes?"

"I won't marry you."

These four words seemed to bring the whole earth to a standstill. Silence graced the many people surrounding them, which must have been in the number of twenty, as the sun was hot and the lake was cool. Lucius did not flinch at the words, neither did he show any outward sign of pain or even anger, he simply stared into Wilhelmina's dark eyes. After a long pause he spoke in barely a whisper.

"Yes Wilhelmina, you will."

"No."

"You will" he said coolly, "you see you were promised to me, and you know that it is for the good of all."

"The good of who? Our parents? Do you really think I care what my parents think? I stopped being an obedient child when I was twelve!"

Here Lucius laughed, making the quickly growing crowd around the couple uncomfortable. Surely it wasn't normal to laugh in a situation like this? There was a shift in the eyes of those around who where looking at each other in an excited disbelief. The distraction in front of their eyes was clearly ripe for scandalous gossip.

"You cannot fool me with your brash statements Willie, I know you, and I know that you would never sway from your parents wishes, so why don't you do us all a favour and keep quiet."

This was said in an even tone, but it did not fool Wilhelmina. She saw the flash in his icy blue eyes and knew that the situation was affecting him more than he let on.

"I'm sorry Lucius, but you're wrong. I have a right to act in a manner which will constitute my own happiness, and I'm afraid you no longer, nor ever did, constitute happiness for me. Here" she gave him an expensive looking diamond ring which lay lifeless now in his hand, "Maybe you could give it to your mistress, she might prefer the weight of it more than I did. She's completely welcome to it, as she is completely welcome to you." Here she gave a blonde sitting close by a swift glance. She did not want to name her or bring shame and embarrassment to the girl. As far as she could gather Narcissa had done nothing much to deserve it. It was widely known within the Slytherin house that there was no affection in the engagement between Lucius Malfoy and Wilhelmina Carrow, it was simply a marriage of financial and hierarchical convenience.

"Your family will never forgive you."

"My father will forgive me as you well know."

"But your mother…"

Here Wilhelmina's strong will faltered. Lucius was right, her mother would never forgive her. The union of the Malfoys and Carrows was all that she had wanted from Wilhelmina's birth. Through all Wilhelmina's faults and the disappointment she had brought to her mother, Mrs. Carrow would always lean on the greatly comforting knowledge that her disappointing daughter would at least do one thing for her.

"I…I don't care." With this true, but painful utterance, Wilhelmina turned and headed to the castle, still upright and graceful, as if nothing at all had occurred which might have ruined or saved her life.

**Thanks, hope you review x x x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Into the Grey Chapter 2**

Hi, this is a very quickly updated chapter two! I got in the mood to write so here I am. I hope you enjoy and I hope you review. I'm trying to create Wilhelmina's character as a true Slytherin, you can tell me whether or not it's working, lol. It would be nice to know what you thought about it, nic x x x

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**The Carrows** were one of the few truly pure blood families left in the wizarding world. Not only did the name instil respect wherever it was uttered, it also left an imprint of great power for those who had dealings with them. The Malfoys had the money and the status yes, but the magical power in their blood was considered by many as weak. The Blacks certainly had the power but there were questions over where their loyalty lie. For many, the Blacks stood for the Dark Arts but did little about it. The Potters were talented and rich but the Carrow family considered that their loyalty was on the wrong side of the fence. Yes, it was widely believed that the magical and social strengths of the Carrow family held them in great esteem to the darker side of the wizarding world. Unfortunately for them however, it would seem that every family has a great weakness. The Carrows, though endowed massively with great pride, were not at all endowed with great wealth. This terrible state of affairs seemed to be the result of too many relatives who believed that they had more money than they could spend. In this assumption they were completely mistaken. The birth of Wilhelmina Carrow however seemed to create a new hope for the financial status of the great Carrow family.

_"Then the deal is done?"_

_"Yes!" Meredith Carrow said anxiously. There was no need for this deal to go awry. If the deal was made when the child was so small it would be impossible for the Malfoys to go back on their word. "Of course, we will have to make an unbreakable vow about it…"_

_"Well…I don't know if that's such a good idea." Elliot Carrow seemed quite uncomfortable with this deal. "We can't do that on behalf of the children…"_

_"Well obviously not Elliot," Meredith shot him a look of poisonous venom. "I simply meant that none of the parents would be able to back out of it!"_

_"That seems appropriate to me Meredith," said Abraxas Malfoy, who was eager for his family to gain the magical strength that the Carrows seemed to possess. He was also eager to strike up the bargain quickly, caring more about the prosperity of his family than the happiness of his son. It was obvious that this Wilhelmina child would be of little beauty when one considered her parents proud but homely appearance. If he were to expect the deal to go ahead he would have to strike it before his son could make any objections over his future wife's lack of beauty. This did not matter however, the good of the Malfoy family was of greater importance than the beauty of his future daughter in law._

_The fathers of the two children were bound together in their unbreakable vow. As from now they would be forced to never go back on their word to each other, no matter what happened to either of their families in the coming years. Elliot Carrow however managed to keep the choice of the children free. "I will not make a promise on my daughter's behalf when she is not even old enough to speak."_

_"That is fair enough Elliot, though I am sure that we will have no problems when it comes to the children," Abraxas said calmly, "They will of course be obedient to our wishes."_

It seemed however that circumstances would not shape out the way that the mother of Wilhelmina and the father of Lucius had expected. Wilhelmina grew into a rather beautiful young lady which worried Malfoy endlessly, for if the girl was to be beautiful she might have her pick of anyone. Meredith Carrow however had different reasons to hate her daughter for her beauty. Wilhelmina was exactly what she had always wished to be, and it seemed that Elliot loved her more than he had ever loved his wife. He and Wilhelmina had a bond stronger than she could have ever imagined. They had the same interests and the same way of looking at the world. Meredith and Wilhelmina however were not in anyway similar. Wilhelmina's beauty was a constant source of bitterness for her mother. Meredith was respected beyond many women, but she was never in her life considered beautiful. Her marriage to Elliot was one of convenience and neither parent ever showed any affection for the other. Privately Meredith didn't even consider Wilhelmina as her daughter. Meredith and Wilhelmina were so dissimilar that it was deemed that the daughter belonged to the father and was in no way associated with her mother.

Wilhelmina reflected on this whilst she was laying low in the solitude of a quiet corner of the library. She had a book about the Goblin Histories in front of her which would fool nobody. She wasn't studying, she was worrying. Though she had never cared what her mother thought, she did not like the atmosphere caused by the animosity between them. Her latest actions with Lucius were bound to cause the biggest rift ever seen between the mother and daughter of the Carrow family. She knew that her mother would try everything within her power to make Wilhelmina marry into the Malfoy family. Her mother was sick of having to hide her family's state of poverty, she was sick of not getting everything she wanted. Wilhelmina's decision to turn away from the future set out for her would crush her mother's aspirations and dreams. Wilhelmina, quite comfortably, took a lot of pleasure from knowing this. She felt that she owed nothing to the woman who gave birth to her. Why should she care if her dreams of riches were dashed? As far as she could see, her mother deserved none of it.

"So then, this is where you're hiding?" Wilhelmina turned to see a pretty blonde girl staring at her anxiously.

"Hello Narcissa," she smiled mildly to the blonde in front of her, trying to reassure her.

"You aren't angry with me?"

"Of course not, you know as well as I that it would never work between Lucius and I. We could never be happy together. His anger will subside. He cares nothing for me, and I truly don't mind."

Narcissa eased and sat in the chair next to her.

"I hope you know what you are doing Wilhelmina. This will cause a lot of trouble for you. Lucius is angry, and he wrote to both his and your parents this morning." Narcissa was biting her lip anxiously, it was clear that she had been planning to talk to Wilhelmina for a while.

"Come on Narcissa, what's wrong? Haven't you got what you always wanted? You _love_ Lucius, you're from a good family. You do know that it's very likely to be you that marries him now?"

"I…yes, I know, but…I don't want to tread on your toes. It would be…inappropriate."

Wilhelmina finally understood what was going on. The Carrows, though not as rich as the Blacks, had a lot more influence on the wizarding world. Narcissa had probably been advised to tread carefully.

"Look, as far as I'm concerned you're doing me an enormous favour. I would suggest however that you don't flaunt your alliance with Lucius straight away. Others will not be so favourable of the match…my mother for example."

Here Narcissa stood, looking relieved though showing little sign of it.

"Thank you," she said courteously and formally. "I truly hope you find happiness."

"And I you"

Wilhelmina watched after Narcissa as she turned and walked away, her golden hair swinging gently behind her. She really wondered whether Narcissa could have a happy future with Lucius. Though he certainly had feelings for the girl, his sense of duty was obviously more important to him than she was. Lucius was more than angry at his broken engagement with Wilhelmina than happy at the possibility of marrying Narcissa. Wilhelmina could not understand why the girl bothered with a man who considered her love so little and unimportant. He loved his father's wishes more than his lover's. Wilhelmina vowed from the moment she decided to drop Lucius that she would never compromise her own happiness for that of her family's again. She had ambition for _herself_, nobody else. She did not consider herself romantic, but she would never allow herself to be a tool to make somebody else's life better at the expense of her own.

This resolve had a strange effect on her. Why should she hide in the library? What was Lucius going to do to her? Force her to marry her? Even in the wizarding world this was impossible. She was ready to take the flack for her decision because she knew she was never going to go back on it. With this thought she stood up and headed to the great hall in for dinner.

"Willie?"

Wilhelmina turned to see a handsome dark haired boy behind her, presumably on his way to the great hall too.

"Regulus, I told you not to call me that," she said with exasperation.

"Are you going to the great hall?"

"Yes, are you?"

Regulus stared at her with wide eyes.

"You can't go in there! Lucius will be so angry!"

"Regulus, I think I got passed the stage where I cared what Lucius wanted when I broke our engagement. Now come on, I'll take it personally if you don't walk into dinner with me?"

Here Regulus softened, he had always had feelings for the Carrow girl, even though she was in sixth year and he in fifth, not to mention her engagement to Lucius.

"Of course I'll come with you."

With this they walked to the Great Hall together, Wilhelmina with her head held high. As they entered the hall however, they were met with a distraction from the Gryffindor table. An awkward and ugly fat boy had just fell over in front of Wilhelmina causing her to trip.

"What on earth did you think you were doing you idiot?" Wilhelmina hissed angrily as she stood up swiftly, rearranging her school robes.

"There's no need to be harsh with him, it was an accident," said a black haired and handsome boy from the Gryffindor table. Wilhelmina, annoyed at this boys impertinence and intrusion whipped around to chastise him.

"It has nothing to do with you Black, maybe next time you can keep your pet on a leash so that he can't cause any harm to innocent passers by." Here Sirius tilted his head calmly and sat down. Wilhelmina nodded her head slightly and continued to walk.

"I don't know why you even bother paying him any respect Willie! He was cast out by my family, you should have been harsher towards him, he doesn't deserve any of your attention!" Regulus seemed flushed at the sight of his brother.

"Your brother might not be a true Black but I still have_ some_ respect for him. He is one of the few students round here with good blood and superiority of manner, you must at least accept this?"

"Maybe, but I don't know what to think anymore. There was a time when I used to love him, I don't know if I care anymore."

"That's a shame," Wilhelmina said, looking sadly into his eyes. She parted from the gaze as they reached the Slytherin table, she found herself sat in a close proximity to Lucius, but did not feel the need to move.

"Good evening Lucius," she said courteously.

He simply nodded at her. It would have been rude to do anything else. It was obvious that to gain any reputation back from Wilhelmina's refusal to marry him, he would have to show that he cared little. To save face was the only way to get out of the sticky business without total embarrassment.

Lucius looked at her thoughtfully. Yes, she was beautiful, with her long dark hair, big dark eyes and graceful way of moving, but she was not for him. They shared no interests and did nothing more than hold each other with respect. Maybe the breaking of the engagement was not such a bad thing. He, unlike his father before him, had shown a great magical ability, so there was no need to unite himself with the Carrows. He looked towards the blonde sat on the other side of the table. Though he definitely felt something for her, he had never really considered her marriage material. She was very sentimental and often pointlessly demanding, but as he looked at her he realised that she was the closest thing to personal happiness he had ever had. With more time and effort perhaps she could be trained as a suitable wife. Wilhelmina might have been the perfect specimen of outward self control and dignity, but it would seem that, in essentials, she was everything that Lucius did not need.

Wilhelmina was also in a similar state of deep thought like Lucius, but concerning other characters. Her mind was set on the strange relationship of the Black brothers. It was odd, they seemed so similar in their ways. Both were so headstrong and proud, so neither were willing to admit that they needed each other and missed each other terribly. It seemed that Regulus's ambition lie in pleasing his family, whilst Sirius was concerned with his own happiness. In this aim Wilhelmina felt a strong affinity with the boy she remembered spending her childhood years with. Both her and Sirius cared more for themselves than anybody else. Wilhelmina had never known anybody who seemed as selfish as she was, and for this reason she was fascinated by Black. Of course she cared for her father, but he would never ask her to sacrifice her own happiness just to please him. Perhaps some would consider her cruel and unfeeling, but she could not help what she was. She doubted whether she would ever meet somebody who made her forget herself and her own needs. She could see what it did to people. People like Narcissa who would do anything for their lover, even if they did not deserve it. No, Wilhelmina truly did not believe that this would ever happen to her, she felt she was beyond such nonsense, and pitied those who were not.

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If you enjoyed it, let me know with a review! x x x


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